*THIS POST CONTAINS AFFILIATE LINKS WHICH MEANS I MAY EARN A SMALL INCOME FROM ANY PURCHASES YOU MAKE. However, I WILL ONLY SUGGEST ITEMS THAT I HAVE USED MYSELF AND/OR FULLY TRUST. *
This is something that I have suffered with for a long time now. I’ve been working extremely hard on overcoming relationship anxiety throughout the years.
In my opinion, this form of anxiety doesn’t just count towards romantic relationships. It can also affect me when it comes to platonic ones. There are no limitations.
The many sleepless nights and tears that I experienced when a friend would not reply to my text (or something) still haunts me. My brain would automatically assume they were ignoring me. I would think I had done something wrong and upset them in some way. Even if there is nothing I could have possibly done. It doesn’t make that much sense, even to myself when I explain it like that. However, it was something that I had to put up with every single day.
Don’t even get me started on my romantic relationships. The anxiety symptoms were even worse. This was to the point that I haven’t even considered being in another relationship since 2014.
It is only recently that I have really started working on overcoming relationship anxiety. I am at the point where I can actually imagine being in a happy relationship without my anxiety getting in the way. Therefore I thought I would share a few tips on how I got to this place from where I was. It hasn’t been an easy journey but it was worth it!
Mention Relationship Anxiety in your Therapy sessions
Do not forget about mentioning this. If you are currently going to therapy I would highly recommend talking about your relationship with your therapist. They will not judge you and will help you as best as they can.
I brought this up in my Cognitive Behavioural Therapy as something I would like to conquer throughout the 8 weeks of therapy. What I learned in this time really helped me with overcoming relationship anxiety. I used the methods that my therapist taught me and implemented it when I felt those negative thoughts taking over. Let them help you is all I can say. It is worth it.
Check out my post on Cognitive Behavioural Therapy here!
Switch Off For A Day or Two
Social media and phones can be the biggest cause of relationship anxiety. So the first step in overcoming it will be to learn to live without it.
When I had a really bad day, I decided to practically completely disappear. I didn’t look at social media or my phone in general for a whole day. I know that doesn’t sound like a lot of time but it is a big achievement for me!
I would definitely recommend doing this for as long as you need. There are plenty of other things you can do in the meantime. Try practising some self-care. You will be surprised how amazing this will make you feel. It will remind you that you don’t need to be talking to friends or a partner all the time to be happy.
Own your independence and enjoy yourself!
Complete The Worry Workbook by ShineSheets
Whenever you feel the relationship anxiety kicking in, I highly recommend filling out every page of this worksheet. I have used it many times in the past and I still have quite a few pages printed out in case I need it.
The Worry Workbooks aim is to help you relieve those unpleasant feelings. It will help you realise that you don’t actually have to worry about what you are worrying about. All I can say is that it has worked wonders for me. Plus the design of the workbook itself is so organised and cute to look at. You won’t regret it. Trust me.
Talk To Your Friend or Partner
Communication is always key. Especially when it comes to something serious like overcoming relationship anxiety. Your friend or partner needs to know how certain behaviours can effect you. Be completely honest with them. Especially if they have unintentionally hurt you in this way. Try not to just let it slide because they may do it again without realising.
Don’t ever blame yourself or disregard your own feelings. This is your anxiety and trust issues talking. It isn’t you. Please do not bottle up your emotions even if what triggered you was really small.
Make the people you are involved with aware of that. If they really care about you they will try not to do anything that triggers you. They should also help you through overcoming it.
Communicate, communicate, communicate!
Let Go Of Any Toxic People In Your Life
Tolerate absolutely nothing. Be really picky with who you choose as friends and/or lovers. This past year or two, I have told myself that I will not make an effort with anyone who doesn’t make an effort with me. And I feel so much better in the process.
I now have less people to worry about. Plus these few friends I have are true friends. I know they would never hurt me intentionally and I would never doubt any of them for a second. To be honest, I can currently count the friends that I have on one hand and I absolutely love it this way!
It makes overcoming relationship anxiety ridiculously easier if you don’t have to worry about the people constantly triggering it without a care in the world.
Really think, pinpoint who your true friends are and who makes an effort. Don’t worry about anyone who doesn’t even try. It’s not worth it.
Thank you so much for reading my blog post. I hope this helps you in some way if you are currently struggling with severe relationship anxiety like I was. With a little bit of work and support, it will get better. I know that is a very cliche thing to say but it’s true.
Do you experience relationship anxiety? What are your triggers? Let me know in the comments as I would love to get to know more about you all.
Sending so much love to you all,
– ColourfulHope (Ruth) xoxoxo