Cutting ties with anyone that you used to care about is hard. Whether an ex, a friend or family member, it doesn’t get any easier.
In fact, it takes time, patience, and a lot of mindset work that doesn’t happen overnight.
That’s why I’m here to answer all your questions surrounding how to stop caring about someone.
By the time you finish this post, you will know how to stop caring about someone, and you will be able to live your life without missing someone that you are better off without.
If you want answers to frequently asked questions such as:
- How do you stop caring about someone who hurt you?
- How do you stop caring about someone who doesn’t love you?
You have come to the right place.
Why You Need To Address It
It’s so important to address when you need to let go of someone and the memory of them.
Holding onto these memories will make you go through phases of “missing” them even though they hurt you. This is a really toxic, and confusing mindset to live with.
If you still find yourself thinking constantly about this person that you used to care about (even after they left you or hurt you enough for you to want to cut all ties) then you NEED to address it.
Your mind needs to make room for much more important memories that may have already happened or will take place in your future. Don’t give any of your valuable time to negative past experiences or people.
It’s not helping your mental health in any way.
Is it even possible to stop caring about someone?
The short answer. Yes.
But, it takes time, patience in yourself and perseverance.
At first it will feel almost impossible to go a day without even sending them a message or seeing them pop up on your facebook feed (especially after a break up).
You may feel like it’s all your fault and want to try to fix things. Don’t. This happened for a reason, which means better things are on the horizon for you. What you are supposed to have, you will receive as destiny intended.
If they are not a part of your story, that’s just the way it is.
Eventually, you will be living your life and this person won’t even cross your mind. Not once. Just be patient with yourself, and don’t punish yourself for thinking about them.
In fact, that’s the first step for moving on.
Accept How You Feel
You have decided to address it, and now you want to start taking the necessary steps to stop caring about this someone.
The first step is to accept how you feel. Simple as that.
- Let yourself miss them, and the memories you shared before everything turned sour.
- Allow yourself to be angry at them, and think about how much they hurt you.
Let every possible emotion out. It’s not healthy to keep them bottled up, and if you don’t do this now then you never will.
Embrace your feelings, and get ready to say goodbye for good.
Talk About It
The best way to accept how you feel is to get your emotions out somehow. One method that I can’t recommend enough is talk therapy.
Mention this person that you want to stop caring about to your therapist. Share your stories, memories, why you want to let them go, and why you are finding doing this so hard.
Be as open as possible. At the end of the day, your therapist is there to listen to you. Use this to your advantage, and talk it out loud without the fear of judgement.
However, if therapy isn’t on the cards for you right now due to:
- Being on a long waitlist.
- Being too scared.
- Not being able to afford it.
Then keep reading.
Journal On It
Another effective way to accept how you feel is through journaling. I have found this practice incredibly life-changing over the years.
It’s much like therapy, but imagine your writing is you talking and your journal is the therapist. This is a great place to start dealing with and getting to the bottom of your thoughts, and feelings.
All you need to do is find an old notebook (I’m sure you have a few lying around), and a pen. Then you are good to go.
Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and think about this person that you want to remove from your life. Once you feel ready, start writing.
Don’t stop writing until all your emotions are out and on the paper. You will feel so much better.
The best way to describe it is that it will feel like a massive weight has been removed from your shoulders. You really don’t want or need to be carrying it around forever, which is why this part of letting go is so important.
Don’t Let How They Feel Control How You Feel
If this person cut ties with you first, then it’s so easy for those self-critical thoughts to take over.
You may start feeling that it’s your fault they left, and therefore start blaming yourself for every bad thing that has ever happened in your life.
That’s incredibly normal at first. Everyone feels this way. But, soon you will have to realise that they were just not meant to be a part of your life.
You will find your people throughout time, and they were just not one of them. Just keep on living your life, and be excited for what’s to come.
Remember, just because this person left you and doesn’t seem to care about you, doesn’t mean you should dislike and stop caring about yourself. Stop dwelling on people of the past and continue to love yourself.
This may seem so difficult at first, but you will get there. Trust me.
My post all about how to stop caring what people think about you, will help you with this too.
Live In The Now
If you really want to stop caring about someone, then you really need to start living in the now.
Obviously this person is in the past, so you don’t need to think about that. If you do then memories of them that you don’t need right now will just keep on cropping up.
Living in the past brings on depression, and living in the future brings on anxiety. That’s why you need to live in the present, and take every moment as it comes.
Just keep on repeating that great things are waiting for you, and it doesn’t matter if this person is part of your life or not. You are in control. Sit back, relax, and enjoy yourself in the now. The more you start doing this, the happier you will feel.
Most importantly, you will find yourself thinking about them less and less as your mind shifts to the present where they are irrelevant.
Don’t Dwell On What Could Have Been
Going back to what I said before. Don’t live in the past or future too much. If you do this you will start thinking too much about what could have been when it comes to this person.
You will start having thoughts like:
“If I hadn’t have done this, maybe they would still be here with me.”
“If this hadn’t happened, they would never have left me.”
And all sorts of thoughts that are completely irrelevant to your life now.
Truth hurts. But, what happened, happened. There is nothing you can do about it. Time travel doesn’t exist, so stop wasting your time now on the could have, and should haves. It’s not worth your time, and one of the reasons why you can’t stop caring about this person.
Remember That People Will Come and Go
It’s so important to remember that situations like this are just part of life. Think about it.
Are you still friends with everyone you knew during your first years of school? Do you even know where some of them are now? Did you even think about them once before this very moment? Probably not.
That’s because people passing through your life is incredibly normal, and you are already used to it. It’s such a regular occurrence for everyone on this earth, and it shouldn’t keep on affecting you and your emotions.
It was written in the stars that they would be a part of your life story, but wouldn’t be there till the very end. It’s just how it’s always meant to be. You will come to realise and accept that in time.
Cut All Ties
One of the absolute best ways to stop caring about someone is to cut all ties.
Don’t hold back. There are many ways that you can do this, but you only need to go as far as you feel is necessary. For some examples, you can:
- Delete them from your social media
- Remove them from your contacts
- Delete pictures of them from your phone and social accounts.
- Give any gifts from them to charity, if they bring in too many thoughts.
Just do everything you can to stop your brain from thinking about them whilst your split is still fresh in your mind.
I know it’s easier said than done, but it will help you to move on so much more quickly.
In time, you will be able to see a picture of them without your stomach sinking. But, for now, just do what you need to do to prevent it.
Give Yourself Time
The most important thing that you need to know is that you are allowed to be sad.
You are allowed to miss this person.
If it seems to be taking a long time for you to stop caring about this person, just know that there is nothing wrong with you. We all heal at different speeds.
Everyone’s hearts and minds are different, and for some people, these things take time. Don’t punish yourself for that.
You will be fine in no time at all. It may feel like it’s taking forever, but when you look back in hindsight, you will be surprised.
Now that you know all of this, you will start to find it so much easier to stop caring about someone who doesn’t care about you.
Take everything that I just shared to heart. Take a big deep breath, and know that everything is going to be okay.
If you want to make sure those thoughts about them don’t leave you feeling awful, then you should sign up to get my FREE Fighting Self-Critical Thoughts Workbook. It’s a simple and easy way to start combating these thoughts so that you can start living your best life.